TEARSTAINED "Monumental In Its Sorrow" 1999 CD#1 (Mordgrimm records GrimmFive)

Originally Released Candlemas 1999 (February 2)
Re-issue on Barbarian Wrath released October 2005.

BACK COVER POEM: (song titles are in italics) This is the only text on the back cover.

Soon shall come The End Of This Incarnation when we shall pass into the next phase of existence. I stare up at The Clouds That Grieve for mankind. They shower the earth with their sadness. The Thunderstorms Ease Me. My pain drives me into a nocturnal reclusive reality and I believe that there are those that know this pain. Like a Bat Horde we gather only in the night's moonshine. We join together in a Suicide Pact to exit a life that has nothing much left to offer. I feel so Dead To The World. I delight in The Death Of All That Is Beautiful and I rejoice in blissful misanthropy. My only solace and complacency can be found standing alone under a Tearstained Nightsky. Come with me and ride on the wings of death..... Succumb to Dissociation and cut off the rest of the world. For it is increasingly S.A.D.....


"The End Of This Incarnation" (Click Link for MP3)

Wonder why
You will die
Feel so high
Reach the sky

You shall die
So shall I
You won't cry
Nor shall I

Nothing left to live for
No reason to hide
I am leaving this world
Escape into the void
Cold and distant body
My next vehicle awaits me
Beyond the stars I go
The end of this incarnation

"The Clouds That Grieve"

The clouds that grieve
In mourning for mankind
Overcast skies hide their eyes
As the rain showers the plains
The sky's tears dance in the fields
The willow weeps in the autumn breeze

Monumental In Its Sorrow
Captive of the treachery of our race
We are a warlike species
Barbaric and brutal
And we ever shall be

The honour of ancient warriors
A relic of past dignity
Death for honour is no more

Blissful misanthropy
The raping of the earth which harbours us
Bite the hand that feeds
There is no simplicity
The wretch we call christianity
A plague feeding off the weak masses
We shall perish in the name
Of an idolized insolent myth

Rain clouds gather o'er the horizon
Blocking out the sun
Thunder signals the onset of mourning
Lightning lights up our eyes

"Thunderstorms Ease Me"

Tear my heart from my chest
Thunderstorms ease me
Heartless and pagan
The spirits of nature
...swirl like...
...a bonfire smoke...
...into my essence....
The sound of the rain
Resonates across the fields

The winds build and the water ripples
The birds take cover
The trees outstretch their arms over me
To embrace me in their shelter
The wood breathes on the fire
The thunder cannot bury the flame
With sword and stone I've permeated
through the ages

...A long dead warrior
      ...A shaman
            ...A philosopher
               ...A warlock
    ...memories unlock
As I aboard new realms of experience

The pagan heart swells within
Fill my chakras with strength
The death of a youthful innocence
Change drifts into me
Like the dying autumn's leaves

Bird's eye view of the vast forest
I see in the fog through blind eyes
Guiding myself upon my stone pathway
My staff carries the weight of my wonder

"Bat Horde"  (Click Link for MP3)

The decay of light
Brings us delight
We come out at night
Together we unite

Strong in our union
Night sky invasion
Nocturnal and pure
The moon our only lure

Bat Horde  Bat Horde

The forest is our home
We want to be left alone

Bat Horde  Bat Horde

We live for the dark and the cold
In trees and caves we make our home
Humans fear our bite
Night after night....we return

Strong in our union
Night sky invasion
Bat Horde

"Suicide Pact"

Joined together in pact
Signed it in our blood
Soon the time will come
Fulfill the obsession

Life is so pointless
What's left in it for me
I'm so full of hatred
And suicidal misanthropy

Rope, razor or pills
We control our demise
Exiting this world
Life fades from our eyes

Tie the knot the noose is wrought
What I seek for has been sought
As I hang waiting to die
I shall look up to the sky
Overlook the Genesee
As my life fades out of me
Hanging from a bridge
I'll be free

With the razor in my hand
I'll travel to a distant land
Slice my wrists, cut them deep
Watch the blood begin to seep
I relax and close my eyes
Feel my body paralyze
Eventually everybody dies

I place the pills into my mouth
The more I take the quicker I'm out
Fall into eternal sleep
Joined in pact that we shall keep

We control our time of death
The honour of ending our own breath
We remain in control
Onto the next voyage of our soul
Eternity.....Ever shall be

Fuck this world, I don't care
I don't belong here
The time will come, as been planned
It is coming nearer

"Dead To The World"

No one cares, no one knows
Which fuckin' way the spirit goes
Insatiable appetite
Hate the day, love the night
I am dead to the world
Sacred scrolls are unfurled
I will search and find the key
To unlock these mysteries

"The Death Of All That Is Beautiful"

Gone is pleasure
Corrupted leisure
Polluted planet
Force of habit

Me eyes have grown cold
No one left to hold
Passion is relinquished
All color is extinguished
They destroy and copulate
They dream of love but conjure hate
Conqueror of land and animal
The death of all that is beautiful

We are rotting as we breathe
The casket is the only reprieve

Emotional wastelands
Are all that remain here
Desolate vastland
Her cold corpse kept near

(guest guitar solo: Fornicus)

"Tearstained Nightsky"  (December 1995)

Ceases at dusk
Black night sky
Stars shine


Lunar energy
Cascades down upon me
The night is alive
Cold as ice


Bonus Tracks:

"Dissociation" (6/17/03)

I withdraw from social interaction
Humans make me sick
Our nature is corrupt
I succumb to dissociation
Cut off the outside world
I don't want to be part of it anymore

I withdraw all associations
Humans make me sick
Our nature is corrupt
Solitude is bliss
Untouched and protected
Cut off the outside world
I don't want to be part of it anymore

(repeat 2nd verse)
(endless shrieking)


(you figure it out)

The two hidden coversongs on this release are BATHORY's "Equimanthorn" (originally released on their "Under The Sign Of The Black Mark" 1986 LP#3) and a Bathorized version of METALLICA's "For Whom The Bell Tolls" (originally released on their "Ride The Lightning" 1984 LP#2). This Metallica-cover also appears on the Tribute To Metallica Comp CD released in 2000 on Adrenaline Records (see discography) .

The solo at the end of “The Death Of All That Is Beautiful” was performed by Fornicus and recorded back in 1992. Let me explain: the reel-to-reel used to record the album had been used for Doug "Fornicus" White’s old band and a solo was left unerased on the tape purely by accident. It’s amazing how it just seemed to fit there anyways....so I kept it there. A solo recorded in 1992 for a completely different song suddenly fit a song recorded in 1997. It’s the only musician-guest performance on any Tearstained album.

1999 Gratitude towards: Doug White, Frater N. and Mordgrimm, Mary “The Empress”, my brother J., the members of Night Conquers Day, Rey Philippe, Timo Ketola of Dauthus Mag, Gaamalzagoth of MOONBLOOD, Mauro Berchi, Roy Van de Ven, Kris Verwimp, Sean Hughes, Stefan of Majestic Union Records, Medical Genocide Zine, Nordic Vision Zine, Ron “Evil Eye” Pappert (to the death), everyone who I’ve tapetraded with or has found me some rare vinyls, and to 2 of my greatest inspirations: Quorthon of the mighty BATHORY and King Diamond of the once mighty MERCYFUL FATE.

2004 Gratitude towards: Hartmuth & Barbarian Wrath!!!!!!, ChorazaiM of MEGIDDO, Ron Pappert, Tim Miller, Knjaz Varggoth of NOKTURNAL MORTUM, Captor of BLOODTHRONE, Leon of APOKALYPTIC RAIDS, Whipstriker of FARSCAPE, Tomasz of THRONEUM & Time Before Time Productions, Timo Ketola DAVTHVS, Ali of METALLIAN Mag, Miriquidi Productions, Black Hole Mag, Odin & Moribund Records, Dark Horizon Records, Autistiartili Records, Iron Pegasus Records, all bands/labels/distros who have done trades with me, MetalNightZine, Scott "LaFey" Banker, Lyn & Joe, Gary & Mo Orosz, Val, thepaganfront.org, Blackmetal.com, Sonic Insanity devotees (R.I.P. 1989-2004), my brother J., my parents, metal mags & zines worldwide, metal radio shows, online reviewers, and those who own the Suicide Trilogy.

And for listening pleasure: Iuvenes, Morrigan, Taake, Warhammer, Falkenbach, Urgehal, Tulus, Khold, Myrkskog, Grand Belial's Key, Nokturnal Mortum, Master’s Hammer, Christ Agony, Throes Of Dawn, Black Dawn, Wurdulak, Necrophagia, Diabolical Masquerade, Dark Throne, Lord Belial, Gorelord, Marduk, Dimmu Borgir, Finntroll, Behemoth, Branded666, Old Man’s Child, Ved Buens Ende, Unholy, Dolorian, Blackdeath, Ashen Light, Ohtar, Ondskapt, Craft, Akercocke, Darkwoods My Betrothed, Gehenna, Megiddo, Nephenzy Chaos Order, Sear Bliss, Frost (hun), Blood Red Throne (Fucking DEATH Metal!!!!), Beherit, Belphegor, Demigod, old The Gathering, Vulcano, Apokalyptic Raids, Farscape, Demonthor, Carpathian Forest, Voivod, Mercyful Fate, King Diamond, Celtic Frost, Hellhammer, Cliff Burton-era Metallica, Monumentum, Exodus, Malhavoc, Necrovore, BATHORY (R.I.P.), Slayer, POSSESSED, Incubus (aussie'87), Goatlord, Beherit, Piledriver, Metal Church, Exorcist, Venom, Nigro Mantia, Destruction, Kreator, old Sepultura, Turbo, Onslaught, Blood Feast, Wrath, Strattson, Acid, Deathrow, Satan, Oz, old Ratt, Diamond Head, Judas Priest (except Turbo), Deep Purple mk II, old-70's Scorpions, Legs Diamond, Dio, Black Rose, Captain Beyond, Amon Duul II, W.A.S.P.- 1984, Bang, Uriah Heep, Black Sabbath, Black Widow, Coven 1969, The Darkness, Monster Magnet, Bloodrock, Pink Floyd, Tangerine Dream, Tuu, Dead Can Dance, and all the creatures of the night.

Recorded entirely at Mortuary Temple Studio in the summer of 1997 by Mikael except “Tearstained Nightsky” which was recorded entirely in December 1995.
Produced and Engineered by Mikael.
Mixed at Watchmen Studio, Lockport, NY, by Mikael and Doug White in 1997.
Bonus tracks recorded in January, February & July 2003 in Mortuary Temple Studio,
mixed at Watchmen Studio in November 2003 with Doug White.
Entire album remastered at Watchmen Studios with Doug White in November 2003.
Logo Art by Kris Verwimp based on a vision by Mikael.
Photos of Mikael by Evil Eye.
Gravestone pics by Mikael.
Cover photo “Carrie’s Gravestone” taken by Mikael in Mt. Hope Cemetary, Rochester, NY.
Layout by Mikael & Cheryl.
Mikael performs all instruments and vocals on this album.

(Hilighted color indicates soon-to-be released re-issue stats. The original album was mixed and mastered in 1997, and the original cover-art painting was done by J. Petagno. The re-issue has been remastered with 2 newly recorded bonus tracks, "Dissociation" and "S.A.D.", and will feature a different album cover which is a photo taken by Mikael)

This album is dedicated to my best friend, Ron “Evil Eye” Pappert, who should be world dictator and might quite possibly be the antichrist. To The Death…..

Wishes and spells of destruction and woe to all christians, politicians, and basicly humanity in general. Most of you are just pawns and followers. I feel disgust existing and sharing oxygen with you all. This album is a requiem for supreme suicidal misanthropy. Listen, read and learn. There is no hope....

Email: vaalkoth@yahoo.com
Website: http://tearstained666.angelfire.com

Disregard the outdated email and website addresses listed in the original Mordgrimm version booklet.

The Suicide Trilogy: “Monumental In Its Sorrow” 1999 CD (re-issue Sept.05 on Barbarian Wrath)
                               “There Is No Hope” 2001 CD
                               “Final Thoughts” 2003 CD

In remembrance of:  - Michael Orosz, my cousin 10/13/66 - 9/28/03 Heil Pitt!
                               - Misty  1991-2004
                               - Quorthon - R.I.P. 2004 Bathory lives eternal!